i'm not in love. but. im gonna fuck you. til. somebody better. comes along.

dont know what's been up with me lately, but i've been on this marilyn manson kick...back in 9th and part of 10th grade i was greatly obsessed with this crazy androgenous man, his crazy lyrics, band and life. i read his biography "long road out of hell" in about a week. i made collages out of his magazine pics, articles and i had an extremely striking poster on my wall; caddy-cornered so it looked like he would jump out at you at any moment. this was mostly influenced by my boyfriend at the time. he loved marilyn so i loved marilyn. the young and impressionable. pray for them.

most of marilyn's lyrics i dont believe in, bc i DO believe in god. but i guess im attracted to his uniqueness and passion. i like his boldness and creative ability to express what he feels is wrong with society. ive heard that he helps lead the church of satan. if that's the case, poor him. why would anyone want to be on the team thats going to loose? to each his own i guess.

well i think i can get through this kick without being dragged over to the dark side...maybe? : )
<3

everything had changed. everything was strange.

so last weekend i went to tennessee to visit my friend, jake. it was BEAUTIFUL. sometime late last year i'd heard that I-40 heading into TN from NC was shut down due to a rock slide that they have yet to fix. so i was already mentally prepared for a detour. wasnt quite sure what the hike would be like, detour or no, but i knew itd be an adventure nonetheless.
instead of going through asheville like i was suppose to, i ended up taking highway 209 which was 30 miles of twisting, winding, sometimes snowy, sometimes one-laned, up hill, mountainous, sharp turning road...i thought it would never end and a few times, i thought i would die. ppl even PASSED me at the sharpest turns and i knew for sure that THEY would die...but no one did. i was suprised.
well i finally got to cosby, tn after stopping in hotsprings, nc at a library to recharge my phone and gps which had both died at the same time and at the most trecherous part of the trek.
jake's house was AMAZING. it's got 2 stories (the second, he built himself), it's in the moutains, of course, which made the view almost overwhelmingly beautiful. it was a place id always associated with getting-away. it amazed me that a good friend actually LIVED there. 24/7.
well, over the course of the weekend, we drove around the mountains for 4 hours. i got to walk part of the appalachian trail. we went to dinner and a movie in knoxville (go see THE CRAZIES), we went hot tubbing OUTSIDE in hotsprings, climbed an insanely high radio tower (while it was snowing. idk how we didnt die), and i finished my 10 page paper for grad school. lol
well on the way home, i finally went the right way and stopped in asheville. 5 words: WHY DONT I LIVE THERE!?! maybe after graduate school i can move there. i am beyond convinced that my soul lives there and is crying every day bc my body has abandoned it. i will rectify this error sooner than soon.
<3

January 29, 2010 BANG! BANG!!! WE'RE BEAUTIFUL AND DIRTY RICH!

so on january 29th, one of my best friends, brittany and i drove to charleston to join another of my best friends, robert, his friend, rachel, and 400 various ppl to dance in marion park for 45 mins to lady gaga's music. being an EXTREME lady gaga enthusiast, and having already dressed as her for halloween, i decided to go in costume.

i honestly didnt realize that i would be bombarded from every angle with ppl wanting photos...but i gave the ppl what they wanted. it was my time to shine. : ) and shit, was it fun!: for the first 20 photos. then after that it got old and i just wanted to dance....so we did!

i noticed a camera man hovering over me on a step ladder just filming away as we danced, but i ignored him and kept moving. it seems like the above pic was one taken by him, so thanks random creeper-camera guy! you made us FAAAAAMOUS!!!

needless to say, it was a fun day! afterwards we had dinner with an old friend/college professor adam. it was great to see him again. we then convened at brittany's sister's apt for a while. robert and rachel went out and partied some more and i, pretty much gaga'ed out for the day, fell asleep on a wonderfully comfortable couch. <3

cut it out

yesterday my brother and his girlfriend/fiance came to see me in charlotte. we ate at cabo fish taco, which if you live in charlotte and havent eaten there, SHAME ON YOU. >:O

we then went to ikea where i saw many an item that i greatly need for my life.

i.e: a bed frame. bc the futon mattress that i have on the floor just isnt cutting it anymore.

i.e: a computer desk. bc the footstool that my brother made for me in highschool on which sits my tower and screen just isnt cutting it any more.

and a computer chair. bc the futon mattress on the floor on which i sit to utilize my computer on the footstool made by my brother in highschool just isnt cutting it anymore....

in short. MY CURRENT FURNITURE AINT. CUTTIN. IT. PERIOD.

we then went to concord mills mall and spent our time at a cell phone. the trip to the mall did not benefit me in the least, so i will not expound upon it.

today the fiance and i are going to look for bday accessories for the brother's bday. for 2mrw he will be 22 and if we dont care, no one else will. (that's a damn lie. he has a tooooon of friends. but they can eat my shorts. IM planning this party.)

<3

bragging rights

i loooove 3rd shift. i thought there would be a period of transition but being awake all night just came so easily to me. hazaaaah!

so, i recently took a shower. it was wonderful. (free water that never turns cold...who wouldnt go gaga over that?!?) (maybe frosty the snow man but i digress.)

the point is, while in the shower i got an interesting idea. hopefully the kind that also translates as interesting outside of my head, as well as in it. so here it is:

the coolest things that ive done in my life so far, in no particular order:

1. sang at carnegie hall, twice (i was drunk the 2nd time and slaughtered that german song)

2. took a greyhound bus to/from california (took us 3 days to get there and 2 1/2 to get back)

3. saw cirque du soleil in charleston with one of my best friends (i cried during the 1st ten minutes bc i was CONVINCED that we had somehow been granted access to the 7th realm of heaven)

4. getting my 1st tattoo

4 1/2. getting my second tattoo

5. tripping off of shrooms (have no clue how many times ive done it, but they all go here)

6. took a cruise to jamaica and the grand cayman islands (oct 2008-was AMAZING)

7. all the times i have a dream or think of something random and it happens (maybe i'm a psychic?)

so im sure theres more but i can't think of anything. i DID just work all night after all. besides, no one reads this besides me so i have no one to impress. not even god.

<3

cherry poppin red

so. thanks to my lover/friend/partner in crime, robert mccready, i now have something to do during the graveyard hours when im not working...thank you, dear.

i just went to third shift this week and figured it would be better for my soul since im a night owl by nature.

//begin note to self// involve an owl in next tattoo //end note to self//

the only thing i hate so far is that all the "normal" ppl in the world are asleep now leaving me slightly alone. and more than slightly bored. whatev. that gives me time to plot. things. and to write. poems. oh and to read. quietly.

if i could be doing anything right now tho, i'd be riding a giraffe to a cheap hotel on the moon with lady gaga saddled behind me. bc altho im not a lesbian and i frown upon beastiality i would totally do them both hard and sloppy the johnny gong way.

<3