"You’re waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know this train will take you where you want to go, but you can’t be sure. But it doesn’t matter. Because we’ll be together."
if i were going to be cripplingly honest about inception id say: inception really ruined my life. the world is not real. my dreams are not real. i am not real. and it solidified every fear that i have ever had but dared not express outloud or atleast not beyond a whisper. it rattled me on a fountain/eternal sunshine level. deeply. and to my core. to the point where i feel compelled to question life, my decisions, and reality more often than ever before. my desire to feel real has only been fueled but with no real means of quenching this fire. leaving me in some sort of limbo. but how do you explain this to people without sounding dramatic or flat out nuts??? you dont. and i wont try. no one can help me anyway.
now if i were going to give a pleasant critique, id say that it was an extremely innovative movie that mixed an old idea (dreams and dreaming) with a relatively new one (cgi). it really was an amazing movie with an interesting plot although the characters could have been developed beyond their role in dicaprio's story. adding more of a back story for the others wouldnt have hurt in my opinion. the love story intermixed into the overall plot, was very gripping and i believe it appealed to all. the ending was unfair though. HA!
now about my life.
i have wondered what i need to do to feel more real. should i go to counseling? should i become a christian again? should i take up yoga? become a buddhist? become a drug addict??
truly. i do not know what to do to in order to be real and free. i do not know how to NOT think about death. i do not have a plan. i do not intend to die but i know that i will. and some one that i love will. it is always at the back of my mind. i want to know what happens after you die and if it is really worth anything that i am living for. i believe in karma but i want to know if karma is really real. everything is cyclical. that is evident in the seasons, in the life cycle, in the rotation of the planets. but is that true for energy and good/bad deeds?
also, what is the point to life? why do we love? hate? care? not care?
and why have i made the decisions that i have made? am i in control or is some bigger, grander entity guiding me to some greater truth? i want to know all of these things and i want to believe that what i discover is the absolute truth. beyond the shadow of a doubt.
i also desire a more base life so i dont have to be tortured with such existentialistic thoughts.
<3
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